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Muffin Tops

I have one question…………HOW IN SAM HELL DO SOME OF YOU LADIES WHERE YOUR CLOTHES SUPER DUPER TIGHT???? I totally understand a smidge bit of muffin top but EXTREME souffle is NOT a good look. I know that shit has got to hurt. Don’t get me wrong, you will catch my fat ass squeezed up into some shit I really have NO kind of business wearing but it won’t be EXTREMELY tight and I won’t need a medic to get out of it. I have a friend who enjoys wearing stuff like that and it just oozes up and out over the top of her jeans. And the shirts………….. Even TIGHTER…… My boyfriend says she looks like she’s wearing toddler arm bands. I know when I wear some tight bottoms and go to bend over, that shit be digging all in my gut. And I know that if I’M uncomfortable, then you other chicks are too. I know we all want our asses to look extra chunky in them there jeans but is that REALLY worth it? I know sometimes if your in a pair of REALLY uncomfortable bottoms,  that shit will make your stomach hurt so bad that you gotta shit something serious. Doesn’t wearing tight clothes like that make it easier for it to bust open at the seams on you? Imagine that your out on a date with the flyest man in town. You got on your ” You know you want me” outfit and it’s tight as hell. You excuse yourself to go to the ladies room. You go to pull your pants up and RIP…….Now your WHOLE ass is hanging out and you left your jacket with him. And you ain’t wearing ANY panties!!!!!! #Fucked

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Amber portwood, art, aspiring, Beyonce, blog, body cleanses, boxing, bundles, clothes, commitment, culture, Dating, diet, Faith, Farrah Abraham, fashion, fitness, food, gossip, Hair, health, Hollywood, humor, inspiration, Kardashians, Khloe Kardashian, kim Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, life, life&style, love, MAC, makeup, marriage, men, news, news and gossip, passion, reading, sex, sex relationships, shade, shopping, Teen Mom, Teen Mom OG, weaves, weight loss, women, writer, writers, writing

Shitty situations

So your boyfriend/girlfriend just stepped out of the shower BUT then they go back in like 20-30 minutes later to shit? Mind you, you already had it in your mind that you were going to go down on them. Do you still consider doing it??

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LIES AND DECEIT

Ok….. As I stated in a previous post about wrapping myself and all that good shit, I want to know………. Has anyone REALLY tried a waist trainer?? How about those wraps that aid in belly shrinkage???? How come they never show any excessively fat people trying these and their results??? I’m NOT a REALLY big broad and I damn sure ain’t skinny. And NO OFFENSE to any of you skinny bitches, I just hate that y’all can sit around and eat and eat with NO consequences.  But let my fat ass over indulge and not ONLY am I gonna gain weight in every witcha way possible but I’m gonna grow excessive fucking hair EVERYWHERE!!! I want the people who make things to help women lose weight or reshape their bodies to show REAL WOMEN!! Nine times out of ten, ALOT more fat bitches would really consider buying that shit. I know I would. There’s a GREAT chance that if one of those #Kardashians are wearing it, I’m NOT going to buy it. Them heffas is shaped and molded more than modeling clay at a daycare. I’m really NOT a hater and I know that with diet and exercise, I too, can look like that. But do you SERIOUSLY believe that their asses are proportionate with their legs? That doesn’t add up like 4+4=6. I’m just looking for REAL women, meaty women,  who have tried things like this and have gotten FANTASTIC results. Like when you go to http://www.hourglassangels.com and http://www.1800cinchers.com they all have size 2 models. We know it works for them, but will it WORK for ME?? Same thing with http://www.tria.com . SHOW ME A HAIRY CHICK THAT HAS USED IT AND IS SATISFIED WITH THE RESULTS. That will really make me consider buying one. That damn NO NO too!!!!! All I’m saying is, can SOME of us BIGGER chicks get some shit advertised with us in mind?? And NOT just Jenny Craig commercials or those Januvia commercials either. Show them skinny bitches in that commercial. Show that they have sugar and carb problems too. It IS t.v right???? Just show us some REAL shit that’s all. I don’t have a whole bunch of funds to keep buying this and that. I don’t know about YOU, but I need to know that I got MORE than a two percent chance of this shit working. If not……….. It’s BACK to the saran wrap, sauna suit and tweezers for this chick!!!!!!!!!! P.s…… I might check out that ItWorks wrap though. http://www.ItWorks.com

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What gets your juices flowing

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What is it about your spouse/ partner that turns you on?? What makes you desire them sexually? ?? Is is the way they touch you??? The way that they look at you and kiss you a certain way?? I know that when my love rubs the inside of my thighs, it turns me on and I get a little charged up. Does anyone else like it when they softly kiss and or just breathe a little bit right behind your ears????? Drives me INSANE!!!! I know he likes it when I rub his thigh, right next to that sweet meat……… watch that meat RISE to the occasion. Do you enjoy it when they touch and tease your nips??? I don’t particularly care for the hard play on my shits. I’m a little sensitive in that area. Just a light flick of the tongue and a good wet, juicy slurp…… Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttt……. I’m liable to cause MAJOR flooding!!!! Oh, but back to that sweet meat……. Do you enjoy it more when your inebriated….. You know…… DRUNK. Or at least tipsy. Makes it a lot more enjoyable for him AND you. Your mouth is wetter, you get more slack in your jaw, you DON’T use your teeth as much. Now ladies……..when it comes to receiving, do you enjoy roughness or slow and gentle???? I don’t know about you but It’s NOT cool to eat pussy like your a ravaged animal. Just take your time while eating it. It won’t get up and leave…….. TRUST ME!!!!!!

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Summer sweat: 5 steps

bodyfixz

The warm weather is finally here, and that means you can shed those layers and hit the beach! It also means that it’s a great time to ditch the gym and take your workouts outside to help you shape up for this summer. Celebrity and professional athlete trainer Gunnar Peterson offers these simple tips to help you stay in shape and maximize your workouts this summer:

* Be resourceful – no gym, no problem! Enjoy the sunshine and your surroundings. Try taking your workout to the nearest park or beach where there is a bench. Work your triceps, shoulders and core with bench dips – sit on a bench and place your hands next to your hips, palms facing down. Slide your butt forward off of the bench and bend your elbows, bringing upper arms almost parallel to ground, then return to the starting position. Keep your lower back close…

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Amber portwood, art, aspiring, Beyonce, blog, body cleanses, boxing, bundles, clothes, commitment, culture, Dating, diet, Faith, Farrah Abraham, fashion, fitness, food, gossip, Hair, health, Hollywood, humor, inspiration, Kardashians, Khloe Kardashian, kim Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, life, life&style, love, MAC, makeup, marriage, men, news, news and gossip, reading, sex, sex relationships, shade, shopping, Teen Mom, Teen Mom OG, weaves, weight loss, women, writer, writers, writing

ARE YOU A BAD BITCH?

WHAT IS A BAD BITCH?????? Everytime you turn around, someone is either referring to themselves as a bad bitch or calling someone else a bad bitch. More than half the time they’re referring to their friends or Beyonce. Does being wealthy and wearing the latest fashions make you bad??? Does wearing skimpy ass clothes, ass poked out, weave down to your kneecaps make you bad?? Does driving the latest whip get you Into the bad bitch club?? Is It a ” members only” thing?? What is it??? WHAT IS A BAD BITCH???? I by NO MEANS am trying to hurt ANYONE’S feelings, but if THOSE are just some of the qualifications of being a bad bitch……… I’m FARR from it. You know what some of the qualifications SHOULD be….. A MOTHERFUCKING HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA AND OR GED!!!! I’m not gonna knock getting a GED because I myself have one but guess what…… I GOT MY SHIT!!!! Another qualification…….having all your got damn teeth! Half these bad bitches ain’t seen a dentist since elementary school when they came for the yearly visit. But your outfit is on fleek and your Jordan’s are popping. GIRL BYE!!!!! Spell fleek???……….?????………. Don’t worry….. we’ll wait. Your boyfriend is a no good hustler who’s cheating on you as if his life depended on it. But YOUR winning. A bad bitch is someone who carries themselves with respect. You don’t ALWAYS have to be scantily clad in order to get a man’s attention. Shit, I know females who can wear sweat pants, no makeup, head wrapped up, and STILL be cute and approachable. And snatch those bad bitches men too. Don’t sleep on the girl who’s in the sweats and shit either because she can get jiggy with it just like the rest of you ladies. A real bad bitch knows how to KEEP her man from wandering away and playing in other people’s shit. Now if you’ve been with the same person for a long period of time, know how to keep them satisfied in every way, shape, and form. You keep a smile on their face and vice versa, AND they don’t have a problem professing their love for you to ANYONE……..  pat yourself in the back because. ………. YOUR A BAD BITCH!!! AND FROM NOW ON WHEN YOU GET UP IN THE MORNING FROM WEARING THAT ASS OUT IN MORNING SEX, ( IT’ S A MUST ) LOOK IN THE MIRROR, SMILE, AND SAY TO YOURSELF…… YOU’S A BAD BITCH!!!  

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This is BULLSHIT

Just the other day I posted about not getting my period all the time and Pcos. Yeah, well guess who showed up…….. THIS BITCH!!!!! I should’ve known she was coming because I was having some serious cramps yesterday. I just assumed it was gas or I had to use the restroom. Sorry for the TMI.. lol…. She showed up and is showing OUT!!! I’m talking cramps so damn bad, my back feels like I have the leaning tower of Pisa on my shit. My ovaries feel like they’re being squeezed for fresh juice like lemons. My hips feel like I’ve been fucking since daybreak on Sunday and it’s now Wednesday. You know that feeling,  where he’s smashing you down from the back but he’s holding your hips really hard all while fucking you hard.Ughhhh….. I would rather be doing that right about now. My legs feel like I’ve been dancing to REALLY fast spanish music since birth and now all of sudden I wanna take a break.My shit HURTS!!!! My hormones are all over the place. I don’t know whether to cry, laugh, scream, punch someone in the face or clean the bathroom and wash dishes. I would kick people but my got damn hips and legs hurt, i’ll probably scream just lifting them up off the floor. I just want a back rub and a nap, but then I’m going to be mad because your rubbing too hard or not hard enough. I don’t even wanna carry these big ass titties around anymore. DAMN it!!! It sucks being a female. We may make it look REAL SWEET by wearing cute shit, makeup, hair weaves and extensions. But when it comes to getting your period and the motherfucking bullshit ass cramps that come along with it………..IT AIN’T ALL IT’S CRACKED UP TO BE! Guess I’m doing something right in this weight loss journey of mine and it hasn’t even been that long. Wish me luck during these next 5-7 days, someone might get karate chopped in the neck! And I have a headache!!!!!!! #Fuck