NAKED SELFIES

How old is WAY too fucking old to take “NAKED selfies” of yourself?? I have an aunt who is in her mid fifties, who’s not too bad looking,  who recently got caught taking naked selfies of herself. Mind you, she has four children and about eleven grandchildren. She’s been married three times and her first husband was the same age as her second child. Now I’m not saying that she shouldn’t be doing this but I’m also not saying that it’s cute. But at what age do ” naked selfies” stop being taken? Can you imagine walking in on your grandmother butt ass naked talking a selfie? What do you do? What do you say? How do you feel about what you just saw? Does it cross your mind about who the recipient of that there picture is? Do you barf? Do you cry? I know that if I EVER encounter something of that nature, the first thing that would cross my mind is, ” My grandmother is a fucking freak!” And then probably scream. Lol

Sorry for the wait

Oh my gosh……who knew it’s been damn near a whole month that I have not been on here running my mouth. It’s been WAYYYY too fucking long and I must say that I’m BACK and boy ol BOY do I have some shit to talk about. I apologize too, for not being so focused on my blog, but I PROMISE to NEVER ever leave you guys hanging like that! So buckle the fuck UP and let’s talk shit about EVERYTHING! I promise to keep it juicy!

ONE TIME FOR THE BIG BITCHES

How come Victoria secrets doesn’t have secrets for us thick sexy bitches? All these little bitches running around all cute and matching in their little bra and panty sets. Different colors. All types of shit. But not us thick bitches. We have to shop at either Lane Bryant or fucking Wal-Mart. An there’s only three fucking colors to choose from. Black, white and nude! What the fuck is nude anyway? And to top it off they don’t even try to at least make them pretty in some kinda way. Can we get a cute pattern or some lace? Can we get some sexy shit? I’m just saying!! Oh and don’t even forget the panties! Where in Sam hell can you find a thong or g-string in a 2x or a 3x. I know some people are probably thinking if your THAT big then you don’t have any business wearing either one of those, BUT them big bitches need love and affection too. They wanna be cute and shit under their clothes as well. We understand that making bras and panties for larger and thicker women would cost a little bit more money to make but shit we are WILLING to buy them. Come on Vicky, lets make some secrets for the big girls. I’m not saying nothing bad about Lane Bryant but I just don’t get a sexy feeling when I wear their bras. I wanna be and FEEL sexy under my clothes. I wanna be able to take my clothes off in front of my boo thang and his reaction be like, ” DAMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN”. I think Wal-Mart and Lane Bryant need to talk to their design teams and come up with some sexy shit for the thick bitches in the bra and panty area. Oh and leave that underwire out. That’s for those little tittee bitches. That shit hurts like a motherfucker when it pops thru the material and pokes you all up. And it makes us look like our tits are in our necks. That’s not a good look either. It’s 2015, the time for big and thick bitches is IN!! WE are what’s POPPING!!! WE WANT SOME SEXY SHIT TOO!! Hook us up VICTORIA SECRET!!!

GET YOUR FAT ASS UP

How do people with small children become MORBIDLY obese? When in Sam hell do you find the time to just sit down, relax and stuff your fucking face? I can understand sitting around when your child is a baby and or barely walking. But when they start really moving and shaking, it’s a non stop thing. It really erks me when I see fat people in those buggys flying around the grocery stores with a ton of processed foods in the front basket, while their kids either push shopping carts behind them or walk alongside them. And the kids look like they weigh 6lbs each. Or they fly around in those red chairs without the cart attached to the front. Ughhhh……… I have this neighbor whose overweight and in one of those chairs. Every single time I see her, she’s in that chair. Chain smoking cigarettes and coughing. I want to know how she changes her clothes? I want to tell her so bad ” GET YOUR FAT ASS OUT THAT CHAIR AND WALK!! ” But I know that’s disrespectful so I just think it and maybe just MAYBE she can pick up on it. I HIGHLY doubt it. Oh and DON’T get me started on that damn lap belt. I think people should just wrap their lips with rubber bands and tighten their belts a little bit more. You will definitely save yourself a TON of money. But back to the kids. Kids move too much for you to be super fat. Get up! Chime in and involve yourself in some of the things that they do. Go for a walk with them. Stop laying around watching tv while making them stay on the couch with you. Let them go to the park. Let them be fucking kids. Oh and start sharing them snacks you got tucked on the side of the couch too! You think the kids don’t know. They be knowing!!!!

Friends to Enemies

Ladies… I have a question. Why is it that when a female friend tells you that your man is cheating on you, the first thing that you do is say she’s jealous? Or she’s just talking shit because she’s all of a sudden happy? I’ve watched countless females throw away lifelong friends behind some dick. Is it really worth it? I know females who have met men while they were incarcerated, held them down the entire time, but as soon as he gets on his feet and mingling with other females, it’s a wrap on you and he’s outtie 5000! And then when you mention what you seen, they instantly become angry and lash out at you. When in reality, they want to lash out at him but can’t because then he’s really going to leave her. I’ve seen females with lavish apartments, tricked out cars, and jewelry that the queen of England would die for but guess what………. When HE left, so did the tricked out cars, that jewelry you THOUGHT was real, FAKER than the hair you wove onto your scalp and your lavish apartment is now home to the next bitch. Ladies……when your girlfriends, home girls, sisters, female cousins, and right fucking hand, tells you that YOUR man, boo, or whatever you wanna call him is doing some serious fuck shit……BELIEVE THEM!!! Them chicks do NOT want your man!  They see the dumb shit he puts you through so why on earth would they want that for themselves? Stop thinking their being sneaky and start thinking that their just being true fucking friends! Tighten the fuck ladies! You can ALWAYS get another man but you can NEVER get a friend like that back!!!

Sucking and Fucking

How many of you ladies and gentlemen are into threesomes?? Is it usually man and two women or are some of you men cool with watching another man fuck and suck all over your lady? Actually, how many of you men are cool with that??? And if you are,  pat yourself on the motherfucking back!!!!!! Thats what’s up!!!!! Wait…… I’m not saying let them fuck while you sit in the corner fully dressed. I mean joining them. As in, your naked, she’s naked, he’s naked and everyone is just sucking and fucking at the same time. Your dick is out. His dick is out. And I don’t mean just a female who is down for the cause. I mean your lady!!!! The one you fuck on a regular basis. The one you kiss at night and wake up to. You might even have kids and be married. But back to the fucking and sucking. See, it’s quite common for threesomes to be lady, man, and lady. Females are usually cool with it. I know I was. Just like sucking dick only it’s a smaller version. Well in some cases…..it’s the same damn size maybe even bigger. Shout out to the all the men who can’t get that hard dick to reach past your balls!  We still love yous!

Am I bugging????

So my son’s birthday is coming up and his father and then decided to combine parties with his nephew so that we didn’t have to have two parties and save everyone money. Come to find out, his nephews mother went and got her child a cake and delegated other people to bring something. So all I have to bring is my son’s cake. In other words,  this party really isn’t for my son. Am I bugging?  Would you buy everything for the party including drinks and then say, ” bring your own cake?” This party isn’t for my son. Mind you, this party is to be held on my son’s actual birthday!  But his father seems to think I’m overreacting. What do you think??